Feeling Grey in a Technicolor World
Sometimes I feel a bit like this picture. The grey blob in the midst of a vibrantly colored world.
My family calls them blue days, but it can be more than that; sometimes we have grey ones. You know, the days when you wake up and nothing is right. Not externally, but internally--you feel, for lack of a better term, grey. Like the color has been sucked right out of you.
If color were life, if it were energy and happiness and enthusiasm and just the general ability to function, think of what being grey would feel like. Lifeless. Void. Kinda sucky.
Grey days are pretty hard pills to swallow, especially because you can't really choose to bring the color back. There's no magical paintbrush that can make it all better. Sometimes you just have to get through the grey day.
And sometimes, it's more than just a day. The greyness takes over and settles itself inside for a period of time. Maybe it's a week, a month, a year--I've had experience with them all. What's a girl (or guy) to do when you're in a grey season?
During an afternoon in October, I went through the book of Psalms and wrote down everything I found that pertains to seasons of depression and sadness. Just from that one time of combing through the psalms, I found 69 verses or passages. 69 things I can look at when feeling grey.
Some are when the pslamist himself is covered in the greyness, and I can see myself in him. Others are passages reminding me to lift up my head, despite what I feel, and look to the Comforter. Some are exhortations, because let's be honest, those grey days can turn into "poor me" days. All of them point me to the Lord Most High, and that's something to note.
Grey days are difficult, because you just want to be coated in that wonderful color again.
But, the Lord hears my cries. (Psalm 6:6-9)
And He is near. (Psalm 34:18)
No matter the circumstances, I can still trust Him. (Psalm 37:3-5)
If there is sin involved, I need to confess and repent. (Psalm 38:18)
He already knows all of that. (Psalm 69:5)
And He loves me steadfastly. (Psalm 89:1)
In fact, He is my refuge and my strength. (Psalm 91)
He's delivered me from my sins. (Psalm 116:8-9)
As long as there is breath in my lungs, I will praise Him. (Psalm 150:6)
Grey days happen, but God is so much bigger. And, I'm finding the best way to get through the seasons of life, be they grey or technicolor, is to turn my eyes upon Him.